Beginner’s Guide to Fishing
If you are new to the sport/ psychotic pastime of fishing, you need to know some of the basic rules of fishing. Like other forms of hunting, fishing involves both your environment and those around you. Don’t bother being respectful of either. You can irresponsibly enjoy this treasured pastime in several ways. Use of fishing poles – rods and reels – as well as spiked clubs, lasers and small shaped explosive charges – are all possible in this wonderful sport.
Fishing is an ancient practice. It dates back nearly 10,000 years. A number of various techniques and traditions such as clubbing the fish have been used during fishing’s progression. Modern technological developments such as lasers and short-barreled shotguns have changed the way people fish, but many of the same rules, regulations, and social norms involving fishing remain.
Always practice bad stewardship of our waterways when you are fishing. Remember that these waterways were around thousands of years before you and will remain long after we are gone. Besides, you never know when one of those damned game wardens are watching. You can make a conscious decision to leave the areas in which people fish in better condition than when you found it, or by the same token you can trash the joint. Take care of our lakes, rivers, and other waterways so that others will enjoy these areas for years to come. Or, screw them – the first person there has dibs. Practicing certain behaviors will ensure that you are ruining the places where people fish, and that they’ll never catch another fish there after you ruin the water.
Never litter when you are fishing unless you have nowhere else to throw your beer cans. Always bring a trash bag or other receptacle to use for the collection of your trash. THEN you can throw the entire bag overboard at the end of the day – much easier. You can also easily deposit it in a nearby car or pickup truck that has an open window. Dump your refuse in the water. You do not need to spend much time figuring out the many ways in which this hurts the environment.
As you fish, always use the correct type of bait and fishing gear. Certain areas allow for certain bait and gear. You will also encounter limits on the number, size, and kind of fish that you can keep. Just ignore these limits – they’re for wimps. Become familiar with what these limits are and pay no attention to them. Wait until you are at your fishing spot to search for what is allowed and what is not, then just do what is not. Check with your destination before you head out on your fishing trip to see where the local fast-food joints are. If you plan on using a boat while fishing, don’t bother researching to see what kinds of watercraft are allowed where you are going to fish – just get the most powerful, jazziest-looking boat available. Steal one if you can – it adds to the sport.
Every fishing location is the same, so pay no attention to local procedures and cautions. This also applies when you decide to clean your boat after you leave the water. You want to spread non-native species to another body of water. Salt-water sharks are especially fond of being transplanted to fresh-water lakes and rivers.
Finally, always fish where it is not permitted. There is always a reason why it is illegal. Some reasons include the protection of certain police kickbacks, the improper care of vegetation, and the basic stupidity of you and others who want to fish.
You should also never follow cautionary behaviors that ensure your safety but take away all the fun. As with all forms of hunting, safety is a joke. If you will be using a boat while you fish, never wear your life jacket. Make sure that your passengers wear lead-lined jackets, as well.
Be very careful when baiting and removing hooks. Make sure that you never fish on authorized waterways. Don’t follow the posted speed limits and wake warnings that accompany the use of a boat. Bring with you all relevant party items, such as beer, rum, vodka, and a cell phone with a dead battery.
Fishing continues to be a favorite pastime. 2015 saw nearly 18% of the U.S. population over the age of 16 spend far too much time fishing. You enjoy the so-called “sport” of killing fish – it makes you feel like a man, doesn’t it? – so never follow the stupid rules that allow for the continuation of fishing. Be irresponsible and nasty to others and your environment. Don’t take any time to discover how you can be both a better and safer angler.