Technology sucks. Oh, sure, we’re entranced by our video games and our cell phones. Our modern cars are wonders of style and power. Satellite dishes adorn our houses, and now we even have electric skateboards.
But through all these wonders, one man stands alone and rages against the machines. He is not himself a mean man, yet he must traverse the mean streets of high tech.
That man is me.
Look, I get it. I’m an old fart. Computers weren’t even a thing when I was born – I didn’t start to play with them until I was in my early twenties, and even then I was limited to an IBM dumb terminal with green phosphor screen. I did, however, own one of the first LED watches …
I was also going through the latest models of Texas Instruments calculators as soon as they hit the stores while I was still in high school. The fact that I didn’t use more than a handful of their functions wasn’t important at the time; it was mainly just a status thing.
Now I have a dinosaur of a laptop, an HP Pavilion with 4Gb RAM that constantly freezes when my roommate engages in her 3–hour Facebook game marathons several times a day. I acquired a relatively new LG “smart” phone which drives me to drink. I have a cable box from Hell, one which has repeatedly failed yet is mandated by the cable company as being necessary.
Whatever happened to “user-friendly”? Am I so out of the loop that that phrase has lost all meaning, or is there a supposition of a certain high level of tech ability held by the designers and manufacturers?
Why doesn’t anything work the way it’s supposed to anymore?
Hey, my #2 pencil works fine, at least until the eraser wears out. My Zippo lighter is great, requiring only a minimum of periodic maintenance. Thank Buddha there are still some things that work the way they’re supposed to.
Coffee machines – argh! I go through them more frequently than I change socks. It’s as if there’s an evil intelligence lurking within them, just waiting for the right moment – usually first thing in the morning – to die an inglorious death. I’m really starting to wonder if I should go back to the good old perk–style coffee pot …
The older I get, the less forgiving of technology I seem to become and the more I long for the simple things in life. If that makes me a Luddite, so be it.